Collection of journal entries between 8/15/17-8/24/17
Faltered plans but it’s alright, I’ll never think it’s on purpose.
One more night and I’ll be heading to Austin, Texas! I am terrified but excited for the trip. Still, I hope I have a good time and don’t make a fool of myself. They would understand me reading or writing constantly. Speaking of writing, I’m hitting a mental wall for many projects. I feel a lot of the problem stems from lack of confidence, I know I know.
The Wattpad story, the flash fiction, and now my new idea. Hell, I haven’t even released my story onto Wattpad yet. Simply out of fear, can you believe that? But for this new idea simply terrifies me when thinking of actually doing it. I’ve enjoyed streaming video games, right? So why not show my writing in that showcase as well. Maybe take requests from viewers? That would make it like a writing prompt on the fly every time! Biggest dream that’s popped in my head from these thoughts? Imagine writing a book exclusively using viewer input. How much fun would that be, huh!?
However, the writing goals are not coming along like they should. Wattpad wants to be the focus right now since I can’t seem to write anything else, the progress is still slow though. Fleshing out characters is definitely one of the skills I need to work on and that includes monsters. Which is why I’ve gone out of my way for some craft books. None of this matters though if I don’t get the full thing written. So many notes all over my journal that just need to be laid out. I need to find ways to keep myself focused and accountable.
One of the many things I hope to accomplish in Austin. I’m going there to let go of worry and tension in my life. No need to worry or fuss about the little stuff in PA. No need to worry about travel desperations. Winding the night away with packing, sporadic notes for my Wattpad story, and of course Harry Potter audiobook. For some reason, they bring calm to me so judge all you like.
I can’t believe I’m this nervous before a trip. Taking trips used to bring me excitement but now… Maybe it’s only because I haven’t traveled in such a long time. Sometimes I feel like I’m not worthy of these trips. This, I guess, is another goal for the Texas trip. To not feel guilty for doing the things that make me happy. Here’s to a good sleep before departure.
The first morning in Austin and I’m actually surprised my energy survived the night. The late night swim was refreshing but it could have been so much more. It’s hard to swim when one lung can’t actually keep up. The skills of swimming are still there but the airflow not so much. Didn’t help that I’m blind as a bat without my glasses so seeing while swimming is somewhat a challenge. I haven’t written anything while here yet but I’m not worried.
Instead of writing, I started reading one of the books I brought, The Novice. It’s part of a series of books by Taran Matharu titled Summoner. The biggest reason I wanted to read this was because of Wattpad. This is what a book looks like that’s come to life from that site. The coolest part is being able to see how each chapter reads like an episode of your favorite show, for the most part.
Begin chapter > Problem > Solve problem > New problem > End chapter
I plan on writing tonight if there is more relaxing time. See if I can’t get another chunk of a chapter drafted out. It’s so close to being plotted in my head but I want to work on my descriptions more for sure.
Side note: Ernest Cline lives in Austin, Texas which I think is awesome! I wonder if this is where he feels the most at home?
First full day of rest since beginning my Austin trip. Which is good since chemo finally happened. I really do hate getting chemo in the middle of the week. It just means everything will be rougher the following week. But I had to get to Boston to speak with a doctor so the chemo had to wait. At least the doctor put some more things in the playbook to fight this cancer. So, the 21-hour day trip to Boston wasn’t a waste but it would have been nice to be able to explore Boston. Shout out to my dad for wanting to drive, that man is a cyborg I swear it!
DnD tonight which will take a lot of energy should be fun though! No plans to write another series based on my second character. I can’t put that on the agenda when I’m struggling with my current goals. Hopefully, I find the patience and accountability to finish my goals by the end of the month.
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